Éh ben ! J’ai reçu dans mes courriels ce matin une formidable occasion d’affaire et je veux la partager avec vous.
J’aime ça, les lettres toutes en capitale comme dans ce courriel, ça dénote l’urgence d’agir. Un peu comme quand on parle à une grand-mère un peu dure d’oreille.
Cependant, je me demande bien qu’est-ce que j’ai bien pu faire pour venir à l’attention de quelqu’un qui reste en Afrique ! Et pas n’importe qui, oh non, monsieur/madame ! Quelqu’un qui est relié au président du Ghana !
Mais, je suis un petit peu désolée que l’on se soit trompé de sexe dans mon cas. Ciel ! Si l’on a été capable de me retracer et penser à moi pour cette formidable offre, il me semble que l’on aurait dû savoir que je suis de sexe féminin…
Et il y a bien quelques petites fautes de frappe dans ce courriel mais peut-être est-ce à cause de l’enthousiasme et la générosité de monsieur Abdullai Abubakar et aussi sûrement l’urgence de la situation ? Mais qu’importe, ce ne sont que des détails !
En tout cas, je veux partager avec vous ma bonne fortune. Voici le courriel en question de manière à ce que vous aussi pourrez profiter de ce fabuleux cadeau tomber du ciel de l’Afrique !
From: abdullaiabubak@gmail.com
Subject: RE: RELEASE OF TWO CONSIGNMENT BOXES IN YOUR NAME.
Date: November 5, 2009 4:09:51 AM EST (CA)
To: undisclosed-recipients: ;
Reply-To: abdullaiabubakar@gmail.comKOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT ACCRA GHANA
OFFICE OF THE CUSTOMS
PRESIDENCIAL CASTLE,
MARITIME AND AVIATION UNIT,
ACCRA – GHANA .FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DECONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,HIGH STREET.RE: RELEASE OF TWO CONSIGNMENT BOXES IN YOUR NAME.
ATTN;SIR/
THIS IS TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE FOR ALL THE FOREIGN CONSIGNEE THAT AFTER THE BOARD MEETING WHICH WAS HELD BY UN AND ECOWAS BOARD MEMBERS, IN COLLABORATION WITH THE G8 COMMITTEE,WE ARE GIVEN YOU THIS OPPORTUNITY TO RECEIVE YOUR COUNSIGNMENT/FUNDS WHICH HAS BEEN HELD FOR LONG PERIOD OF TIME DUE TO YOUR WRONG DEALINGS WITH NONE UNITED NATIONS OFFICALS AND NONE GOVERMENTAL DOCUMENTATION, AND WE LIKE YOU TO FOLLOW UP OUR INSTRCUTION NOW THAT UN HAS FINALLY APPROVED THE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND.
UNITED NATIONS HAS DECIDED TO RELEASE THESE BOXES/FUND, DUE TO THE REPORTS OF FOREIGN INVESTORS LIKE YOU WHO’S CONSIGNMENTS BOXES AND FUNDS HAVE SINCE BEEN CEASED FOR LONG PERIOD OF TIME DUE TO SOME DOCUMENTS AND CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE THAT WAS NOT LEGALLY APPROVED BY UN.
THE CONSIGNMENT BOXES WOULD HAVE BEEN RELEASEDTO YOU SINCE, BUT YOU NEVER CAME FOR THE CLAIMS OF YOUR TWO CONSIGNMENT BOXES, SO WE WISH TO USE THIS MEANS OF OUR DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITIES, TO GET IT DELIVERED TO YOU AT YOUR DOOR STEP ADDRESS OVER THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY.
WE WANT YOU TO GIVE US AS FOLLOWS SO WE CAN ACTUALLY AFFECT THIS DELIVERY TO YOU WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DELAY.
(1. COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LICENCE.
(2. YOUR HOME AND OFFICE ADDRESS.
(3 YOUR PERSONAL TELEPHONE NUMBER, AND FAX NUMBER.ONCE WE RECEIVE THIS FROM YOU, A U.N ACCREDITED DIPLOMAT WHO WILL ACCOMPANY THE DELIVERY OF YOUR TRUNK BOXES AT YOUR DOOR STEP ADDRESS WILL BE APPOINTED WHILE HIS FLIGHT SCHEDULE WILL BE FORWARD TO YOU FOR CONFIRMATION OF HIS TIME AND DATE OF ARRIVAL IN YOUR COUNTRY.
ALSO SEND TO US NAME OF YOUR NEAREST INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO YOUR CITY OR THE AIRPORT YOU WANT THE DIPLMAT TO ARRIVE WITH YOUR
CONSIGNMENT BOXES. GET BACK TO US ASAP.THIS DELIVERY IS URGENT,AND ONCE WE REVCEIVE YOUR REPLY WE WILL START PROCESSING ALL THE RELEVANT DOCUMENTS THAT WILL EMPOWER THE DIPLOMAT TO SUCCESSFULLY MAKE DELIVERY OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT WITHOUT INTERFERENCE OF ANY LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENTS IN YOUR COUNTRY.
REGARDS,
MR ABDULLAI ABUBAKAR
I received the above email letting me in on a fabulous business deal. I am so excited, I just had to share the details with you in case you too want to take advantage of this fantastic opportunity.
I really like the upper case letters, it conveys the urgency of the situation and the unbelievable opportunity I now have. A bit like when you’re talking to a grandma that is hard of hearing a little.
Although I do wonder what I did that I could come to the attention of someone living in Africa! And someone very important, too! Someone that is close to the president of Ghana!
I am a little bit miffed that after all this research to find me M. Abdullai Abubakar skipped over the fact that I am female, though…
And there are a few small typos in the email but perhaps they are due to M. Abdullai Abubakar’s enthusiasm, generosity and the urgency of the situation? But who cares, details, details!
So anyway, I want to share with you my good fortune. Read that email above so you too can take advantage of this awesome gift falling from the African sky!